


carry on as we do

by aditlep6



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Character Study, F/M, M/M, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:33:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23252515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aditlep6/pseuds/aditlep6
Summary: Sam never pried, but that didn’t mean he didn’t care.
Relationships: Abigail & Sebastian (Stardew Valley), Sam & Sebastian (Stardew Valley)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	carry on as we do

**Author's Note:**

> i found this in my drafts and did the ! thing from metal gear when i reread it because it wasn't terrible like most of my wips are! a character study of sebastian, so it's not very plot heavy, mostly narration, but a little dialogue too.
> 
> there are hints and mentions to sebastian having a social/developmental disorder throughout this. please let me know if i do not represent this respectfully and accurately as i cannot personally speak for having this kind of disability. 
> 
> title is from "love is colder than death" by the virgins
> 
> enjoy!

Sam never pried.

Sebastian didn’t get out much, but he didn’t do it purposefully. He simply did what he thought would make him happy at any given moment. He was self-employed, so he slept in most mornings to lessen the strain of his computer job. He would take walks on rainy days, looking for frogs and letting water soak through his thick, dark hair. He’d meet up with Sam some afternoons and smoke while Sam played his handheld, or the two of them would jam with Abigail in Sam’s room. On Fridays they played pool at the tavern. That was what Sebastian did.

He wasn’t the biggest cryptid type in Pelican Town by a long shot. There was Shane, who only showed his face to trudge to work or nurse a pint at the saloon. Linus lived in a tent behind Sebastian’s house up on the mountain, and people still seemed familiar enough with him. Sebastian didn’t owe anything to the townspeople.

His mother walked on eggshells around him, mostly out of awkwardness. She kept a respectful, albeit strained, distance between them and would rather watch Maru and Demetrius bond over their new science experiment than chat with her son about his programming business, which she didn’t take seriously anyway.

There was a blip in Sebastian’s memory that he suppressed out of self-preservation; his mother prying, begging him to _communicate_ more, asking for him to talk to some sort of professional and get tested, or whatever. He wasn’t the happiest person in the world, a notion that he accepted. There were happier people, more ‘typical’ people, people that had socialization and friendships come easier to them than Sebastian did. ‘Typical’ people didn’t dwell in a basement for a majority of the day, content to wander their own minds and busy themselves with mindless work.

It wasn’t depression she was worried about, however. She was obsessed with his lack of _typicality_ , assured that there was something _wrong _with him that needed to be fixed. That what he thought made him different and unique was a problem to her, because he wasn’t a suck-up genius like Maru or a jock like that Alex kid or some self-assured socialite farmer like the new guy. She couldn’t be content with that unnamed _something _, that _thing_ that made him different, and if only they could put a word to it, maybe they could fix it. Fix him. Why did he need fixing?____

Sam didn’t bring stuff like that up. He couldn’t remember a time when Sam wasn’t in his life, sitting next to him on a handheld or babbling about an online game he was playing last night. He didn’t make Sebastian say more than he wanted to and he didn’t push him to get some sun or talk about his feelings. Their friendship was a comfortable companionship where Sebastian could simply be himself without protest.

Abigail was a close second in his life, but she wasn’t as aloof and passive as Sam. She was smart and attentive; she picked up the little things, like when he was going through more cigarettes than usual, or hadn’t touched his bike in a while; when he would flinch when she got too close or when someone would try to touch his shoulder reassuringly or something like that. He didn’t like being touched, especially when he wasn’t expecting it. Sometimes he didn’t feel like explaining the nuances of himself and his life to her. She usually took the hint.

She had been in a limbo on the very edge of his boundaries for a long time. Everyone knew what they had. Any day now he could say a word or make a small gesture and those walls would be torn down, confirming suspicions and rumors. Some late nights he’d walk with her up the mountain path in the twilight and see an almost magical twinkle in her eye and wonder what he was waiting for. Other nights he’d brush Sam’s hand while passing over the handheld and think the same thing.

Sebastian thought the casual amity between him and Sam had helped him come into his own person and not be ashamed of the boundaries he had, despite what his mother said. But unlike with Abigail, Sebastian was the one constantly pushing those boundaries -- sitting a little closer, offering up a cigarette, a different tone to his jokes, invitations to the basement. Sam never protested; in fact, he didn’t seem to notice all that much. His airheadedness never ceased to both baffle and frustrate Sebastian.

Sure, he could get on his bike to Zuzu City and plop himself in some psychiatrist’s office and get told that he was _wired differently_ , which he already knew. They’d put him on some meds that could give him a revelation or make no difference whatsoever. Or, he could do what he was doing now: trying to pick a house to sneak into, trying to decide who to confide in. He chose Sam, and he trudged over after the stifling summer sun had gone down, climbing in through the unlocked window, and gracelessly tumbled into Sam’s bed, which Sam was currently in.

“Ow, dude, you could’ve come in through the front door. You know my parents wouldn’t care.” Sebastian didn’t feel like replying to that, so he didn’t; he let Sam squirm out from his weight and adjust under the thin bedsheet. Sebastian stayed on top of the sheet, on his back and unmoving.

Sam didn’t talk for a long time. He played on his phone while Sebastian stared up at the ceiling as if he hadn’t just fallen through the window. He glanced over a few times, but Sebastian wasn’t bothered by it. He was thinking, contemplating.

“My mom wants me to get tested,” Sebastian blurted after a little while. Sam clicked his phone and put it face-down on the nightstand.

“For what?” He turned his body and attention toward Sebastian, but Sebastian didn’t move, eyes still staring upward, arms folded behind his head.

“Mental stuff. Emotional stuff. I don’t know,” he explained.

“She said that?” Sam seemed outraged. It made Sebastian feel a little better, but he didn't answer that question; she didn't _explicitly_ say that, he supposed, but it was implied.

“She thinks something’s wrong with me.” They were quiet again. He heard someone get up and go to the kitchen to get a glass of water. He heard crickets outside, quieting as the air cooled. He heard Sam’s quiet, steady breathing.

“You shouldn’t be pressured to do something like that. If you want to, you can. You seem happy, and I think you function fine, but you’re the only person who knows _you_ the way you do.” Sebastian turned his head and was surprised to see Sam’s expression a little worried, maybe pleading.

“You know me a lot better than you think you do,” Sebastian consoled, but the intensity of Sam’s gaze stressed him out quickly, so he turned his head again. “I may be dark and broody, but there’s not much about me that you don’t already know.”

“Good to know.” They chuckled at each other.

Sam never pried, but that didn’t mean he didn’t care.

**Author's Note:**

> some quick notes: i do really like robin, and i think the robin and sebastian in this story are both misguided about the others' intentions. i also love abigail and i don't mean to third wheel her in all of my stardew fics, but i think sam and sebastian mesh a little better (and i just like writing their dumb of asses)
> 
> thank you for reading!
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/genderclumps)


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